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Friday, December 23, 2011

A Giving Heart

These are just a few thoughts I have been pondering lately...

When does one "grow up"? Some might say it is when a person gets their first job, opens a bank account, turns 18 or 21, or maybe going away to college somehow suddenly makes you an adult. Personally I think these are all simply external signs of getting older but not truly growing up and becoming a mature person. I believe that the most significant ways of gauging this change happen within a person and are not, initially, obvious to others. A true change of heart.

When I was younger I have vivid memories of coming downstairs on Christmas morning and being thrilled with all the presents, but especially mine. I could not wait to see all of the new goodies that were mine. I specifically remember selfishly wanting my parents to open their presents first because I really did not care what they received and so I could save mine for the very end.

However, these past few Christmas seasons I have noticed a change within myself. While I still love the presents I receive, no longer do I get the same thrill when opening them. Instead I get that feeling of excitement while my family is opening the gifts I have given them. But not just any gift...the most special gifts are the ones that are not on their wish list, yet you know they will love them. They might even love them more than the ones they asked for. Something about picking out these gifts is so much more significant to me. I am able to pick them out because I know the recipients so well. I know what they like, appreciate, and will enjoy. To me there is something much more wonderful about thoughtfully planning out a present than just buying something on a list. (However, I am not saying that I do not appreciate getting gifts that I asked for...I love those as well!) Something about this new giving heart seems so much more important than any outward sign that our society would label as "growing up".

Also as I thought about this recently a new realization struck me. Maybe this is just a sliver of how God feels about the gifts and blessings He gives to us. I feel as though I am constantly asking God for one request after another, some He answers and some He does not (at least not in the way I anticipated). Yet maybe the gifts He is most eager to give me are the ones I do not have on my "list". He knows me better than any of my family members ever will and knows exactly what I need, even when I do not realize it myself.  But He carefully prepares the blessings I receive and they are tailored to meet my needs perfectly.

Have a wonderful Christmas!